Quatre's Gone Crazy!
by Ryukai
Summary: What happens when Quatre finally cracks? Read and find out!


"I think you know why we are here today, Mr. Winner." The judge smiled warmly at Quatre. "We have your psychologist's report on you. You aren't very stable are you?" He crooned. "Anyway, why don't you tell us your side of the story first. Sit right there and tell us everything."  
  
Quatre shrugged and sat in the witness stand. "Here's what happened. I was in gym, minding my own business..."  
***  
Quatre sat there, minding his own business. They were in the middle of their pushups and sit-ups. He smiled at the corny jokes, and laughed at the not-so-funny jokes. Suddenly out of nowhere, Heero, who was wearing pink boxers with yellow bunnies lunged at a girl and started to attack her.  
  
She screamed for help so Quatre grabbed a gun and tried to shoot Heero, he missed. Then Heero attacked another person so Quatre shot at him again. Again he missed. This went on for awhile until three-fourths of the class was dead, and so was Stowell, the gym teacher. Then his classmates mistakenly assumed that he had started it so they attacked him and put him in the straight jacket.  
***  
"That's what really happened! You have to believe me!" Quatre whined pitifully.  
  
The judge smiled. "Of course, Quatre. What an interesting story. Now I'm going to tell you a story! Do you want to hear it?" He rushed on before anyone could answer. "We're going to tell Heero's side of it, and why he was so angry."  
***  
"DUO, SHUT UP!!" Heero snarled, shutting down his infamous black laptop to glare at his current partner in crime.  
  
"Gomen, I'll shut up." Duo said, and true to his word, he shut up... for a good five seconds that is. "But Heeeero, I'm booooored!!" He waited for a response and got none. He glared at Heero's back then started chucking his textbooks at him. "What am I supposed to do?" He whined as his French book went straight for Heero's head.  
  
THUNK  
  
"AAAARGH!!" Heero jumped up and whirled around to face Duo. Ignoring the incessant beeping of the laptop he grabbed his gun and aimed it at him. "I'm trying to work." He hissed. "Go bother Wufei or something." Duo just stared at him. "Omoe o korosu!" He snapped, his grip tightening on the trigger.  
  
"Alright, alright!" Duo laughed nervously, backing away slowly, hands in front of him. "I'll go find Q-man and Trowa. You are SOOO not cool!" He quickly dived out of the room to the sounds of gun blasts and curses that would make a sailor blush. "don't forget we have Gym in a half hour!" He said in an annoying sing-song voice, before running away.  
***  
The judge looked at Quatre and smiled eerily at him. "Now, one day, a person named Quatre, (that's you!) was in gym. They were sitting quietly in neat rows..."  
***  
All of the g-boys were in gym together, sitting around the classroom in neat rows, waiting quietly for the teacher to finish roll call. Or at least four of them were...  
  
"So then I stuck out my foot and the Aires tripped right into the building that I was supposed to destroy! It was awful!" Duo was chattering no-stop to the girl in front of him, who was trying to look interested but failing miserably, she had fallen asleep.  
  
"Maxwell, will you shut up!" Wufei shouted from his row. "No one cares!"  
  
Duo flipped him off and continued talking, oblivious to the fact that the girl was now snoring.  
  
Quatre rolled his eyes, muttered something under his breath than flashed his winning smile when everybody looked at him, shocked. "Hehehe. Hey everybody!" His smile disappeared when everyone looked away, replaced by a scowl.  
  
Fortunately it was then that Stowell had finished roll call and he called out, "Alright everybody, time for our favorite time of the day, PUSHUPS AND SIT-UPS!" Everybody groaned. "And up... down. Heero! What do you think you are doing?"  
  
Heero glared at him. "I'm already finished."  
  
"You WILL do them with the class young man! I've talked to you before about this!" Stowell snapped. "Ready? We're still at zero and Heero has... TWENTY more, hahahahaha! And up... DUO!! Stop talking and do your pushups!"  
  
"But I don't wanna!" Duo whined. "Heero's not doing it, so why do I have to?"  
  
"Just do your pushups!" Stowell glared at the class. "Let that be a lesson to you all! Do your pushups and sit-ups, OR ELSE!"  
  
"Or else what?" Wufei asked, trying to look innocent, but failing miserably.  
  
"Did I say you could talk Chang? NO! That's twenty more for you!"  
  
"OOOH! I'm scared now. What a horrible punishment, please sir, not that! Anything but that!"  
  
Stowell looked pleased. "Now, up... down... Everybody should be down! I SAID DOWN!! GET DOWN!! MAXWELL!"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Get down, NOW!" Stowell yelled, nostrils flaring.  
  
"You know what I've just noticed?" Duo asked, looking as if he'd just discovered that Heero wore pink boxers with yellow bunny rabbits on them. "You look like a seriously ticked off cow. A cow who's about to charge. Isn't that weird?"  
  
Stowell began to breathe heavily. His face turning a deep shade of purple. It looked like he was about to explode. "Just do the pushups Maxwell!"  
  
Duo gave a mock salute. "Yes sir! Right away sir! I'll do them right now sir! Yep, right now..."  
  
"DUO MAXWELL, WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP!!" Quatre's voice rang out, effectively silencing everybody. He took a deep breath and continued in a slightly calmer voice. "Just do the pushups, and do them QUIETLY!"  
  
For about two minutes everyone just sat there, shocked. Then Stowell took over. "Alright... and up... HEERO GET BACK HERE!"  
  
Heero, who had been trying to sneak away, stopped. He was considering his options. Kill the teacher, run. Kill the teacher later. Stay, go insane. Stay, go insane and kill everybody anyway. Kill Maxwell and Quatre. Kill Relena blow up school. Blow up school, kill Relena...  
  
"Don't even think about it Heero!" Duo snapped. "Get back here this instant! Think about the mission!"  
  
Heero slowly turned around. Was it worth it? Sacrifice mission and get rid of annoyances? Decisions decisions...  
  
"HEERO YUY YOU WILL GET YOURSELF BACK TO YOUR ROW AND YOU WILL DO YOUR PUSHUPS! NOT ONLY THAT, BUT YOU'LL DO IT WITHOUT KILLING, OR INJURING, ANYONE! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?" Quatre's voice echoed in the silent gym. Matching Heero glare for glare he spoke again. "Don't make me kill you."  
  
Once again everyone was shocked into silence. This wasn't like Quatre at all. What happened to the soft-spoken pacifist who never raised his voice? Granted, he was annoying, but this? Threatening a classmate? What had the world come to?  
  
"There will be absolutely NO killing in MY classroom!" Stowell shouted, his face once again turning a lovely shade of purple. "If you feel the need, TAKE IT OUTSIDE!!" Both boys turned and faced him. Two pairs of eyes looked coldly at him. He swallowed nervously and fought the urge to take a step back and run away. He looked helplessly at the rest of the class, but they were just as terrified.  
  
Finally Quatre spoke, "Let's finish the pushups."  
  
"No."  
  
"What?!" Quatre turned back to Heero and lost it. "Why in Heaven's name not?!"  
  
"I already did them."  
  
"Did you? Did you really?" Quatre purred, taking a step towards Heero. "Let me tell you something Mister. I, don't, care. I don't. You know why? WELL DO YOU?!" He shouted. Heero quickly shook his head. "I'll tell you why. It's because of... this!" He started laughing maniacally, pulling a gun out of nowhere and shooting wildly. "All I wanted was to play hockey. But NOOO, you have to go and ruin it for me! You, selfish, beast!"  
  
He had taken out half the class, and Stowell, and was still ranting. One-fourth of the class left. Finally the G-boys snapped into action. Heero tackled Quatre and tried to wrest the gun away, Trowa called the ambulance, police station, and an insane asylum, Wufei told Duo to get his straight-jacket and Duo ran off to get it.  
  
"Give me the gun!" Heero hissed, pounding Quatre's head into the floor.  
  
"NEVER!" Quatre shouted, punching Heero in the stomach. "HAHAHAHA! DIE FIEND!"  
  
Finally Duo returned and somehow they were able to wrest the gun from Quatre and stuff him in the straight-jacket.  
***  
"That's not what happened!" Quatre screamed from the defense bench. "They're lying! All of them, they all hate me."  
  
"SILENCE!" The judge screamed back. "Did I give you permission to speak, Mr. Winner?" Without waiting for a response he continued. "We've already heard your side of the story. Prosecution, you may continue."  
  
"Thank you yer honor." A small, fat man with a high-pitched girly voice bowed slightly. "The prosecution calls Ms. Anna Marie to the stand." A nervous, thin girl took the stand. "Now Anna, tell us how you are and what happened."  
  
Anna swallowed nervously and avoided looking at Quatre who was leering at her. "My n, name is A, Anna Marie. I, I, I'm a fre, fre, freshman At Touya's Private School. I have Gym with Qua, Quatre."  
  
"Could you point him out to us?"  
  
She pointed at Quatre, "That's him."  
  
"Continue."  
  
"It was third period and, and it was awful!" She burst out sobbing. "He, he had a gun and he was shooting it at everyone, it was horrible!"  
  
"SHE LIES!" Quatre lunged at her, but was grabbed from behind by Heero who had just shown up. "Let me GO! AAARGH!"  
  
"SEE!" Anna cried out. "He's dangerous! Lock him up forever! Don't let him get me!" She ran out of the court.  
  
"Um, ok." The fat man blinked twice, and shrugged. "We now call Heero Yuy. Heero please..."  
  
"I know." Heero said flatly. "Ahem, my name is Heero Yuy, I attend the same school as Quatre Raberba Winner, that's him." He jerked his head in Quatre's direction. "I have gym with him. Anyway, we were doing our pushups and sit-ups and we kept on getting interrupted. He got angry and lost his temper. He killed three-fourths of the class, including the teacher, Stowell. That's about it."  
  
"NOOOO!" Quatre fell to the floor. "It wasn't me! They're lying, they're all out to get me! Don't believe him, you can't believe him!"  
  
"Defense, restrain your charge!" The judge snapped. "We will take an all-day recess and meet tonight. By that time the jury will have reached a verdict, you're dismissed."  
  
Quatre stormed out of the courtroom and was immediately surrounded by reports. "Mr. Winner why'd you do it?" "Please Mr. Winner, a comment!"  
  
He grinned crazily, "A comment? Oh, I'll give you one alright! HAHAHAHA! Beware the Mad Gundam!" HE walked off, laughing eerily.  
  
(later that night.)  
  
"The jury finds Quatre Raberba Winner guilty on all counts of first, second and third degree of homicide. His punishment? He has to join... A HOCKEY TEAM!!"  
  
"A HOCKEY TEAM!!!" Quatre shouted. "Of all the stupidest things, oooh, what a punishment! The horror!'  
  
The jury glared at him. "We weren't finished. Your teammates will be... Heero Yuy! (NOOO!) DUO MAXWELL! (Not him!) Chang Wufei (Why me?) Trowa Barton! (Sob!) Miliardo Peacecraft! (Sob *hiccup* sob) AAAAAAND TREIZE KUSHRENADA!! (silence) and maybe others, but we don't know for sure yet."  
  
Quatre sat there, stunned and sobbing quietly.  
  
"You will also be brainwashed so such an episode doesn't ever occur again. Once more you will be the soft-spoken, peaceful pacifist, granted, you will be annoying, but in the light of these circumstances I believe everyone can, AND WILL, be able to live with that."  
  
"Wait a second!" Quatre suddenly sat up. "Isn't Treize dead?"  
  
The jury looked at each other. "Yes, no, he WAS dead. There's a difference. Because of our scientific advances we were able to reanimate him. He's our new guinea pig!"  
  
"Oooookay." Quatre shook his head. HE might be crazy but they were insane.  
  
"Until the hockey season starts," The jury started droning again. "You will be put in isolation, in a straight-jacket and in a padded room. "Till we meet again Mr. Winner!" 


End file.
